One Torn Ligament, A Lot of Morphine and A Bigger Appreciation for Freelancing

One Torn Ligament, A Lot of Morphine and A Bigger Appreciation for Freelancing

When people ask what I love most about freelancing, I always say the freedom to travel. Being able to book a trip without an annual leave limitation, working from somewhere new, or deciding to stay a little longer because I can. But after tearing my ACL and having surgery a couple of weeks ago, I’ve realised there’s another side of that freedom that I’d never really had to think about before. This freedom has given me an even greater appreciation for the way of life that I’ve built for myself.

Before my looming op, I did what I always do and tried to plan everything properly. I wrapped up projects, got ahead with retainer work, and warned clients I’d be taking some time off – giving myself what I thought was a sensible window to recover.

The problem with planning recovery is that knees don’t care about your carefully colour-coded calendar. Although the surgery itself went great, the immediate recovery didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d hoped. I couldn’t get the pain management under control for far too long and ended up on a whole concoction of meds that completely wiped me out. Getting up, brushing my teeth and eating a meal was more than enough to sap my energy for the day, so unsurprisingly the date I’d originally put in my head for returning to work came and went.

What surprised me was how little stress I felt about delaying my return. Not because I didn’t care about work, but because I’d planned in a way that allowed me to take the time I actually needed. There was no manager waiting for me to confirm when I’d be back. No awkward conversation about whether I could “just cover this project”. No unspoken pressure that I should probably be fine by now because enough time had passed.

When I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready. So I gave myself more time.

Two weeks later, I’ve started working again. But I’m easing back in gradually. I’m working around physio and doctors appointments, spreading out my calls to ensure I’m always showing up as my best self, and accepting that some days I’ll have more energy than others. I’m still only sleeping about four hours a night and struggling with the pain, so I’m learning to be patient with myself and just do what I can. And what’s lovely is there’s no guilt attached to it because I’m not trying to meet someone else’s expectations.

Before this, I’d mostly thought about freelance freedom in terms of what it allowed me to do – The places I could visit, the flexibility to work from different locations, the ability to design my days around the life I wanted. And those things are still brilliant. But this experience gave me a different appreciation for what freelancing allows you to do when life doesn’t go to plan.

The freedom to set your own commitments. The freedom to prioritise your health without feeling like you’re failing at work. The freedom to come back when you’re ready, rather than when a deadline or someone else’s expectations say you should.

Travel is still one of the reasons I love freelancing, and I don’t think that will ever change. But this injury reminded me that freedom isn’t just about where you can go.

Sometimes, it’s about having the space to deal with whatever life throws at you and knowing you’re allowed to do it in your own way.